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Submitted on
January 9, 2006
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There was once a girl named Mary Sue. She lived in the wonderful world of Fanfiction. Everywhere she went, no matter what the series, she was different, yet always the same. Sometimes she revisited these series, making every boy fall for her once again. The thing each of Mary Sue's forms had in common; they were all extremely cliche, they all were irresistible, they all were perfect in every way possible. But in the world of Fanfiction, Mary Sue often only visited people if she was told by the Mighty Authors, who would create another form for her.

One day, Mary Sue was in her pretty pink mansion, sipping the finest tea in the most expensive possible cup. She was in her usual form. A girl in a blinding pink dress, with extremely sparkling, perfect, blonde hair, and beautiful blue eyes. She looked extremely beautiful, as all of her forms were meant to be. And from the Mighty Authors themselves came a letter from Above. She ripped it open excitedly, not getting a new job for quite awhile. She delicately unfolded the letter, reading it carefully. It seemed to be in some kind of code (which we Mighty Authors call chatspeak), but being perfect, she was able to decode it instantly.

Perfectly translated, it read:

Dear Mary Sue,

My name is animefan12345678444. I have recently joined Fanfiction.net, and was wondering if you could take part in my FullMetal Alchemist story, and of course fall in love with Ed, have automail, be ultra-pretty, blah blah blah...I know the public will just LOVE you, even though in your other forms you have been constantly rejected by meanie reviewers!

animefan12345678444


Mary Sue, being as bored as she was, gladly accepted. She wrote "ACCEPTANCE!" with a heart on the back of the letter, sending it back up to Animefan12345678444 and the other Mighty Authors. Mary Sue got up, letting off a parade of Armstrong-like sparkles, stepping on the transportation pad. "To FullMetal Alchemist!" She called, her voice that of an angel. The pad whirled around, which would make a normal person queasy, but not Mary Sue. Oh no. In what seemed like an instant, she was suddenly there, tumbling in beside a suit of armor and a short boy.

Mary Sue's new form was a surprise, with fake limbs called 'Automail', and beautiful, sparkling purple hair, which was impossible, since there were no mentioned hair dyes in the world of FullMetal Alchemist. Her eyes were also a sparkling yellow, much like the short boy's. The short boy, Edward (Mary Sue knows this, because being perfect she knows everything) gasped, saying, "I love you! Marry me!"

Even though this was extremely out of character, Mary Sue laughed and said, "Of course!" And so they kissed. And within a chapter in Fanfiction world, they were married. Al was extremely confused, and refused to even show up at the wedding. So they grew old, having little Mary-Sue children, who would one day wreak havoc on Fanfiction. They grew old, slowly wasting away. Finally, Mary Sue's new form and Ed died. Mary Sue, now with her job done, returned to her pretty pink mansion in the world of Fanfiction.

Ed later woke up to realize it was all just a terrible dream. He explained it to Al, Al comforted him by making him some chicken noodle soup, and somehow, even though years had passed, Mary Sue's tea was still hot.
A story to make fun of Mary-Sues. Sorry if this offends anyone, it's meant to be humerous and not taken seriously X) Yes, the descriptions in it suck and it's really OOC. It's supposed to be. And Mary Sue is years old, though never ages. She still keeps the glamorous look, of course.

Armstrong, Ed, Al, and anyone else (c) FullMetal Alchemist
Mary Sue (c) me, and the characters, or her "forms" who helped create her
Fanfiction.net (c) whoever created it
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:iconaynonymous-nyan64:
aynonymous-nyan64 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014  Student Writer
10/10. Best Mary Sue satire I've seen yet.
Reply
:iconallthefandoms134:
AllTheFandoms134 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This has to be the best story I have ever read. And sadly true.
Reply
:icondebuneko98:
DebuNeko98 Featured By Owner Edited Jul 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow... this is the PERFECT way to put Mary Sues in a nutshell! BRAVO :iconclapplz:
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:iconnarneybrickman:
NarneyBrickman Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
10/10
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:iconilikechocolatedotcom:
Ilikechocolatedotcom Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
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:iconvinlyviv:
Vinlyviv Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014  New member
I'm kinda afraid to go to that link
Reply
:iconxxx-kotoki-xxx:
xXx-Kotoki-xXx Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014   Traditional Artist
Excellent job. I'm glad I got rid of my silly Sue character and replaced her with some much well-written and realistic new characters.
Reply
:icontherainbowcrafter24:
TheRainbowcrafter24 Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
NOT ED!!!!
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:iconakaszik:
Akaszik Featured By Owner May 6, 2014
Wow, well written :clap:
Reply
:iconkurolove88:
KuroLove88 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014
This is just too perfect~
Reply
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